What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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