Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
