WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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