I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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