porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
