This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
