I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
