I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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