PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
