no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
