absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
