I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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