but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
