im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
