Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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