I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize