well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
