How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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