I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
