You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
