My hand turned me down
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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