fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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