I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize