You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
