Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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