I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
