look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize