He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This baby is an asshole
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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