i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
