I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
