Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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