Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
