Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
