if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
