I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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