Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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