I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
