Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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