Will you blow on my dice?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
