Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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