My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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