Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
