Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
