Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
