Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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