chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
