No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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