1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
