Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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