It's just like the Real World with babies
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
