sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
