Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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