Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
