she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Say something about gay babies.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize