oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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