I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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