I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
