I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
