Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
