I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
