You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
