she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the day after is always just damage control
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
