Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
