so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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