K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
