You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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