I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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