i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
