hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
