I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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