Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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