I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
